Testimony – Jowita

Testimony – Jowita It was 1992, I was 16 years old, I went to High School and all normally heralded – at least on the outside. In me in the middle of this range, however, strange things. Sure, like many of my peers, all seemed to make no sense. I felt no use to anyone , and I was looking for acceptance, friendship, I do not know what exactly … I found it. I started taking drugs, everything was at hand. I smoked cigarettes, sometimes weed. Thanks to ashes, I felt free and so I started my in the ” freedom ” that I took more and more and more often. Just seemed to me that I was free , and really I became a slave to drugs and cigarettes. I went to parties and had called . Friends, the same as me , and maybe even more enslaved . I listened to some ćpuńskiej , strange music , which is already quite grasped me from reality. There were times that I wanted to be a normal teenager who walks politely to school, learn, do homework , etc., but I could not. I was makin provisions, which I could not keep. Tended to fall in the holes mental, I did not want to live. I cried to God to take me from this horrible world. I tried to look for him , but at the same time increasingly doubted His existence. In third grade LO gave up from school. I wanted something to do with myself because I suddenly noticed that I ruined a piece of life and the people around also moved away from me. This in my search for friendship lost all. I decided to heal, I was first in detox and then I went to rehab Monar. I had a firm resolve , which persevered in just two months. I went back to the house. Even I started working and started going to night school, but it lasted only a moment. Addiction was stronger and everything else ceased to be important. This time I took amphetamines , I had a colleague, which together used to ride to different cities and zbierałyśmy money on so-called. ” Ticket ” to be on drugs. Amphetamine sucked in a huge pace, destroying terribly my psyche, I was still in some hopeless depression, sought a death, while her terribly scared. I did not have enough willpower. Drugs and cigarettes were the meaning of my life. In the end, I had enough. I was exhausted mentally, physically too bad I felt. I decided to try again and again went to Monar heal itself. I was then almost 19 years. My peers graduated from this school, some started families, and I completely I could not live like that, was stuck in a different reality, and I could not myself already like it. In Monar lay all your hope, and this time persevered to the end of treatment. Then I went home and started studying at night school because I have two years to complete high school. At the time, I did not take drugs, but still felt that something was missing in my life. I was in itself a strange emptiness that I could not explain it, nor anything to fill, nothing was able to be interested in me for a long time. Next smoked cigarettes, skipped classes , and even alcohol can not avoid. Often I wanted to get high , but then I preferred some alcohol to get away for a while from reality, at the same time justifying that to that addiction ‘m not coming back. It’s been two years, I finished school and I went on vacation often Varied alcohol and night excursions to the blues club. Only in such an atmosphere, I felt good , but at the same time more and more I thought about drugs. After some time, when you return home could not help myself and again reached for amphetamines. I felt like a thirsty man who gave someone a glass of water. Despite two years of abstinence, I was still conditional. I was aware of what it will end up eventually, I felt badly , but I could not live otherwise. This time, a habit very quickly and gave me hooked. I could not change that. I moved out of the house on the other end of the Polish . I had friends there , whom I met in Monar , but there also was not a normal life. Took up alcohol, cigarettes and constant curse. Quickly faded into in this life, drank, smoked, cursed, thought I was at ease, but it was only a pretense. One habit I turned to the other excuse is that with that done. This life remained rather within the four walls, outside tried to be a normal human, though, and so I was in the city anonymous. But it started to weigh me, I began to perceive that everything around me is vulgar and devoid of feelings , and the man is nothing. When friends came to me from my home town for a few days I felt like a normal person, but after their departure that I could not keep. They were consciously believing people took me up on Sunday in devotion to the Pentecostal congregation. The people I saw there were so calm and joyful. I liked it, but it seemed to me that I can not do it live , but I wanted to change. I gave myself and after I got home. Again I found myself at a meeting of a Christian, but I felt among these people the worse and hopeless. I suffered and the more went there. I started absentia economic study. I tried to live a normal life, but I was terribly lonely, and my head still I led the fight against addiction. The only people with whom I had regular contact as they were just friends who visited me when I lived away from home. So it’s been half a year, although it is taught, I felt that in my life, but still something is missing. I was in the heart of such a strange emptiness … One day I sat down and wondered over his life and the people around you. I came to the conclusion that the only real friends, where I can always rely on you were just friends. I also understood then that this is because for them God is something really important that they otherwise live with Him . I wanted a kind of life. I called them and I was glad when they offered me a joint trip to the service. This time I felt good in such an atmosphere of peace and joy. I decided to change my life, so much that I wanted to make their own efforts. A week later, also went to the community of people who consciously believe in God. After the community read some pamphlet about the living God and sitting at home, I began to pray. I asked Jesus to change my life and made me a different man – calm and joyful. I gave him my life, I confessed all my sins and opened your heart to Him. It was September 12, 1999 year. And Jesus … ? He came and freed me in a moment of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. I stopped the curse. It happened completely without my participation and efforts. It was amazing – I felt free from all that for a few years permeated me. Then I realized that Satan is trying to destroy the life of every man giving his apparent freedom. Yet the Bible says: ” If the Son shall make you free, be free indeed ” ( Ew.Jana8 : 36). Jesus gave me a new life, joy and peace, which I could not find as many years. He gave me friendship and love, unconditional and unlimited. He filled the emptiness that I felt soothed me, and most importantly, snatched me from the road to hell. The Lord Jesus said in His word: “Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest ” (Matthew 11/28). Now I know that I am saved , I know where I’m going, I know that this life is only a moment in eternity we will spend with my God. A and now I’m not alone, the Lord Jesus is always with me. Every day I talk to Him in prayer. I can come to him with any problem. It is Jesus who always comforts me, sustains, increases when I fall, protects. It is everything to me and never let me down, and I’m sure it will not disappoint. I am now a new man , and for all I am grateful to God, He shapes me every day. I know it’s all I got for free, by the grace of God, as the Bible says: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus ” (Letter of  St. Paul to the Romans 3:23-24). I described it to encourage everyone to follow him , no matter how they live and who they are. Jesus is the same for all and loves each man, He gave his life for each of us to give us the forgiveness of sins, assurance of salvation and new, happy life. Just come to Him with a sincere heart and trust Him. He liberates, heals, gives peace, joy. It is the same yesterday, today, and forever. As they say words of the song: “Today, God breaks the shackles and free to give us! We can not live without Jesus today. On the foundation and our hope is. He sets us free from the bondage, sin, death, hell! We can not live today without Jesus! ” If in doubt ask him personally in prayer in your own words – surely answer, because I really loves you! I said, and praise Him for it! ” Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear My voice and opens the door, come in to him and dine with him , and he with me” ( Revelation  John 3:20 ). Sister Jowita

Added: 23/02/2014

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